We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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