OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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