I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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