where am i from again
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
