Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
