Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
