saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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