She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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