Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
