The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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