haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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