Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
