yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
