I wish my penis had an off switch
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He? As in you personified your dick?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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