My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And then he peed in my hair
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
