Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize