So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize