he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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