This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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