i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize