I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
