dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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