Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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