Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
