We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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