I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
