You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
