I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize