Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
