I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
In America we eat man semen.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
