he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
