I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
