how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize