so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
