What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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