David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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