lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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