Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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