fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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