I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
