I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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