is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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