I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
