You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
