I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
