but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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