God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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