it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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