the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
