Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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