So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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