yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
