The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
