Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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