ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
