you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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