So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
