I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
