Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
