Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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