what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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