Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she pinky promised me she was 18
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
