she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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