Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
