so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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