I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
