she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
