he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
