I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
