I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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