So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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