i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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