that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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