We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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