doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
