can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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