If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
