Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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