She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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