this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
