sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come on in and take your pants off
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