Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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