he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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